Finding Structure in Chaos
Finding Structure in Chaos: How Preparing for a Physical Goal Can Transform Your Everyday Life as a New Father
Becoming a father has been an extraordinary journey so far! Filled with profound joy, responsibility, an unshakeable sense of purpose and a love I have never experienced before. But let’s be honest —fatherhood can also be overwhelming. The sleepless nights (sleep deprivation!), the endless to-do lists, and the constant demand for your attention can make it easy to lose sight of yourself. In the midst of this beautiful chaos, it’s easy to feel like there’s no time for anything else, especially not for yourself.
However, I think one of the most impactful decisions you can make as a new father is to set a physical goal and work toward it. Why? Because preparing for a physical goal can help create structure in your everyday life, a structure that not only benefits you but also your family. I made the decision to take on the Apex challenge a few months before our baby boy was born, not quite knowing at the time of how impactful that decision would be. Admittedly, Sair (my partner) wasn’t too sure at the time, either was I. Seeing my progress and my headspace I am currently in, it was definitely the right choice.
A side note, I gave myself a full 2 months of doing nothing other than be a parent and then eased myself into training. Which I felt was needed not only for the challenge in September, but for my mindset and my type 1 diabetes management.
The Power of Physical Goals in Everyday Life
Setting a physical goal—whether it’s running a 5K, hitting the gym regularly, or simply taking daily walks—can be a game changer. Why? Because it forces you to carve out time in your day, not just for the activity itself, but for the planning, preparation, and reflection that come with it. This process naturally brings more structure to your life. You’re no longer just reacting to the day as it unfolds; you’re proactively managing your time and energy to meet both your personal goals and your responsibilities as a father.
Making Time for Yourself: A Necessity, Not a Luxury
It’s easy to think that taking time for yourself is selfish when you have a little one depending on you. But the truth is, looking after yourself isn’t selfish—it’s a necessity. When you prioritise your own well-being, you’re better equipped to handle the demands of fatherhood. You have more energy, more patience, and a clearer mind. In essence, by taking care of yourself, you’re better able to take care of your child. I will say that again - by taking care of yourself, you’re better able to take care of your child.
Think of it like this: you can’t pour from an empty cup. If you’re constantly running on fumes, you’re not giving your best to your family. Setting and working toward a physical goal ensures that you have time dedicated solely to your well-being. This time becomes sacred, a moment in your day where you can recharge, reflect, and refocus.
The Importance of the Process, Not Just the Destination
Often, when we set goals, we focus solely on the end result. But what I’ve come to realise, especially in the context of fatherhood, is that the process is just as important—if not more so—than the destination. The daily discipline, the small, consistent actions, the incremental progress—all of these are what truly make a difference in the long run.
This mindset shift is crucial. When you focus on the process, you’re not just working toward a single achievement; you’re building habits that can sustain you throughout the ups and downs of life. You’re learning resilience, patience, and the value of showing up every day, no matter what.
"People Say They Would Die for Their Children, How About You Live?"
One quote that has deeply resonated with me as a new father is: "People say they would die for their children, how about you live?" This sentiment encapsulates what it means to truly commit to being the best version of yourself for your children. It’s not just about making sacrifices or pushing through exhaustion. It’s about making the choice to live fully—physically, emotionally, and spiritually—for them and for yourself.
This means doing everything in your power to be a little bit better each day. It’s about striving for progress, not perfection, and understanding that every small effort counts. By setting and working toward a physical goal, you’re not just improving your own life; you’re setting an example for your child. You’re showing them the importance of self-care, discipline, and the value of hard work. Already our little boy watches through the kitchen window as I do a workout and he is only 4 months old.
Conclusion: Embrace the Journey
As a new father, your life has undoubtedly changed in ways you never imagined. But amidst all the changes, don’t forget to take care of yourself. Set a physical goal, embrace the process, and allow the structure it brings to positively impact every aspect of your life. Remember, living for your children means striving to be the best version of yourself—physically, emotionally, and spiritually. It’s not just about reaching the destination; it’s about embracing the journey, one step at a time.