My big 3
This something that I typed up a few year back. It is still very relevant and are things that I implement into my life still. I am not having check ups every 3 months, more like 6 months.
I was diagnosed back in 2013 with a bone tumour, situated in my pelvis. With multiple reoccurrences and major surgery under my belt, I have had to learn to live my life in 3 month chunks. This is due to regular check-ups at the hospital. I have learnt to take this challenge and turn it around and use it as a gift, helping me create the life I want. I hope some of the things that I have learnt can help you too!
There is enough uncertainty and change in life without adding too many extras. A “normal” level of change and uncertainty helps us grow, it is in fact needed to help us thrive. It keeps us hungry for success. Without this hunger we hit plateaus.
“Too many extras” for a lot of us can include health issues. I would say the most challenging things I have faced and continue to do so have helped me grow and get to where I am now. I know is sounds very cliché, but I am a better person for it. It all happens for a reason right?
I am currently having checks up every 3 months again. This isn’t something new to me. In the process I have developed ways to get the most out of these 3 month periods.
1 - Break life down into Bitesize chunks
Looking back at my school years, GCSE bitesize revision were onto something. Shame I didn’t realise that back then. The one thing that I do, that really helps me create structure towards reaching my goals and a level of certainty, is to break down my time into smaller chunks. 24 hours, weekly and monthly. Breaking things down makes it easier to TAKE ACTION, reducing stress and overwhelm.
· I have things that I must do every 24 hours – I call these the non-negotiables. Made more important as I don’t know the results of what my 3 month check-up will be.
· I have things that need to be done within the week. It doesn’t matter when I do them as long as they get done. I do however schedule time aside to make sure that they do get done!
· Monthly chunks are where I look back and reflect on what was good and what was not so good during the month. This has been ESSENTIAL. You need to know if your progress it taking you towards or further away from whatever your goal is.
2 - Practise daily gratitude
Reflecting on the things that you are thankful for can be a huge contributing factor to changing your life.
I am grateful for every single day I wake up, I am grateful for all the simple things and all the big things in my life.
This is something that I have dipped in and out off over the past few years. It is only the past 18 months that I have really made a conscious effort to practise it daily. The amount of time it takes (very little) and the benefits you will get, make it well worth your while. You are likely to experience more positive emotions, feel more alive with a better sense of clarity (big one for me), helps you put things in perspective, sleep better and be able to express more compassion and kindness. All of this and more for an investment for 5 minutes a day.
An important take home point is that the things you are being grateful for don’t have to be some momentous occasion or ‘thing’ to reap the benefits of practicing gratitude. Of course be grateful for the big things, but the small things have the same effect on your physiology.
3 – Be present
The big question! How do we stay present? The first thing to recognise is that we can only really do one thing at a time, despite thinking that we can effectively multitask. We need to wholeheartedly put our efforts to one task at a time.
A majority our time is spent either living in the past fuelled by emotions of regret or trying to predict what our future holds fuelled by the fight and flight response and all the hormones linked to this, leading to chronic stress and the sensation of overwhelm, rather than being in the present moment.
What we end up doing is passing through life missing out on the moment in front of you right now and we wonder why life just feels like it passes us by.
Be focused and put all your attention on the task in hand. This is a difficult one for me but I am getting better. With all the distractions a click away it can be difficult. Creating an environment that makes it easier for you to succeed will help you. Set a timer and don’t do anything but the task in hand until the timer goes off. Turn off your phone/notifications or put your phone in an other room.
Being present first thing in the morning is so important. It really sets me up for the day. A good tip is to not use your phone for the first hour of waking.
It isn’t just about tasks or things, be present when you interact with people. Give them all of your attention. Really listen to them. Practise listening more than you talk. You will be surprised with what you pick up on. This has been a game changer for me, especially in practise.
When dealing with an ongoing health issue there are huge amount of uncertainty to what the future holds. Anticipating this future serves us no purpose. It is extremely problematic and even pointless. We can’t really control exactly what the future holds.
What is helpful to combat this is to set aside some time reflecting on possible future outcomes and then put them in a container and do not continue to use mental energy going over and over it again. When the day comes when you have to make a decision, it isn’t the first time you have thought about it.
Bottom line is don’t be afraid to dream big, if there is something that you want in life YOU must take action, limit procrastination and wasting time, expect to fail, progress over perfection, learn to say no, control all the things you can and try not to worry about the things you can’t and most importantly enjoy YOUR journey.
Bottom, bottom line is do not take your life for granted. You can still use these tools to help you even if you don’t have a health issue. I wish I had!
Nathan x